Victim vs. Volunteer

The dictionary on line has these definitions

Victim : –noun

1. a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency: a victim of an automobile accident.


2. a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency: a victim of misplaced confidence; the victim of a swindler; a victim of an optical illusion.



Volunteer –noun

1. a person who voluntarily offers himself or herself for a service or undertaking.


2. a person who performs a service willingly and without pay.

I REFUSE to be a victim.  EVER again.  The day my first husband kidnapped; tortured; raped; sodimized; beat; and attempted to kill me.... that day changed me forever.

But am I leaning to hard the other way?  What is the middle ground?  I am not a victim but am i truly volunteering for all of my distruction?

This is my current battle....